I stood at his bedroom door for a while, taking in the foreign environment that should have been familiar to me but wasn't. Rays of sunlight flooded the room illuminating the crown of his perfect head. His eyes sparkled as he swiveled back and forth in his over sized desk chair. The language of his body was nonchalant and there I stood in his doorway like a lovesick puppy. I might as well have been naked because every emotion swirling around inside of me was turning my face a different shade of red with each minute that crawled by. My cheeks were burning hot and my feet kept trying to do a Gene Kelley number from "Dancing in the Rain" while my hands couldn't decide between the front or back pockets of my jeans.
But that wasn't all that was out of control on me, no, my eyes were looking up, then down, then closed, then opened (still there), then down, then up. Oh it was a mess, so much for being calm cool and collected. I was a mess. Moments like these always play out better in your mind and I was hoping this was a moment where both mind and reality could be on the same page. But the sunlight turned dark and his smile became a smirk and my tapping feet turned into weights that I could barely move. I wanted to escape from that moment, be free from the voice that rejected me. The voice that killed the dream of a 'happily ever after'. Every moment after that was an instant replay of the moment before that, "no, no, no, no". I stood there dumbfounded and heartbroken, unsure of what to do next. I wanted to run. I wanted to cry. But mostly I just wanted to explode and die. I had no idea my heart could hurt this way. Was this love? Was this what Romeo and Juliet died for?
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